Back from the Underworld (A Personal Update)

Lightworkers, I love you, and thank you for being here.

I have been THROUGH IT for the past few months.

It's no exaggeration when I say that I feel like I've been to the Underworld and back. Or, less elegantly, we can say that I've been to hell and back or even less cleanly, I've been through an absolute shitstorm and have somehow survived...

It started a couple of months ago when I had a major spiritual crisis, also known as a "dark night of the soul"... Now, I know you've heard the phrase "dark night of the soul": it's very trendy, and it's on tons of books and courses etc. I've always ignored it because it never resonated with me, so, haha, the cosmic joke's on me ;) The dark night of the soul actually has a deep psychological history and I encourage you to do some proper research into its clinical roots.

Two resources I can recommend right now are, The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped Podcast by Fiona Robertson and Awakening Through the Dark Night of the Soul Audiobook by Eckhart Tolle. I use Spotify, but I'm sure they're available wherever you consume your ear candy ☺️

Anyway, this DNOTS manifested in very severe panic attacks and the longest running period of anxiety that I've ever experienced - and that includes my divorce. Thing is, I wasn't aware that the root cause of my distress was spiritual in nature, and there were MANY, MANY things in my life that could have easily been the cause of my anxiety.

I also have a tendency to have Illness Anxiety (which is a whole other hell realm in and of itself), so this also came back at full blast.

This all reached a crescendo when I had a major health scare involving my 8-year-old daughter. All is well, and I won't share any details online (in fact, I've only told a few people close to me), but do know that we are okay. Things will never be the same, but were things ever what we thought they were...? Indeed. All is well, all is well, all is well...

The cherry on top of this anxietydepressioncake was that recently, one of our beloved pets - our guinea pig, Mochi - passed away. Our sweet, gentle, baby boi. He had a heart murmur and a bunch of other health conditions and we kept him thriving for as long as we could, but in the end... In the end.

Not long after my daughter's health scare, I thankfully was able to pinpoint the root cause of my anxiety attacks, which as I mentioned, were spiritual in nature. Once I realized this and reconnected back to my core spiritual practices, my panic attacks stopped and my constant physical buzzing (IYKYK) reduced dramatically.

I'm currently reading The Promise of Kuan Yin by Jay Ramsay and Martin Palmer. It's a beautiful, historical book that I bought years ago but never cracked open until now. It is the perfect vessel to deliver the medicine my soul needs at this time.

I also "received" a new Guardian Angel. It's a strange thing to say, but I'm not sure how else to put it, except perhaps that I was assigned a new Guardian Angel to my Angel Team? ☺️ Since I was a young child, I've known my three primary Guardian Angels very well - I've seen their faces and known their names and have always worked with them. They are female Angels, and I guess you could say we've grown up together!

During one of my lowest points, I saw and felt very clearly a new Guardian Angel. He (yes, this time, a male presence) introduced himself to me as a new Guardian who came specifically to help me through "this time". At the time, I thought, "What the heck does THIS TIME mean? How much worse could it possibly get?!", and of course it got worse, ha. But that's okay, because true to his word, my new Angel, along with my OG Angels, helped me through it. It's been a long time since I've felt their presence so strongly.

In the end, the Universe has been kind to me. I'm grateful for all of it, even the horrible parts, because those revealed my priorities to me. I feel like I lost everything (my mind + my body + my family) and by the grace of Goddess, got it back again. It's giving Inanna's Descent into the Underworld, and it's also giving Scrooge waking up after meeting three ghosts.

ALL THIS TO SAY... I am healing. I am good. All is well, all is well, all is well.

I am doing all the things: spiritual practice, energy work, therapy, acupuncture, massages... All of it works beautifully together. It's humbling and soothing to be a client of my own offerings because I get to work with so many INCREDIBLE people - Lightworkers, please keep doing your amazing work, the Earth NEEDS YOU.

Thank you for reading, for opening this email, and for just being here, on Earth. We need you, we love you, we cherish you.

From my broken open heart to yours,